The aforementioned screenplay is little more than a half-assed rehash of “True Lies,” “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” “Knight and Day,” and the like that brings absolutely nothing of interest to the table. “Ghosted” is essentially a laundry line connecting its interchangeable action beats with tired characters, lazy plotting, and a complete lack of wit, humor, excitement, thrills, or basic coherence. Those aforementioned action sequences are certainly big and noisy, but Fletcher shoots them in such a bland, disengaged manner that he makes the Russo brothers look like the Coens in terms of stylistic flair. In what I can only assume was an effort to try to distract viewers from the formulaic proceedings, the film throws in a bunch of familiar faces in brief cameo appearances, which prove to be little more than a distraction from a movie that’s pretty much a distraction all by itself.
However, the worst aspect of “Ghosted” is the virtually nonexistent chemistry between Evans and de Armas. Both are good actors and undeniably charismatic performers, but they fail to click here on any level. Watching the two struggle to strike sparks with such substandard material is genuinely painful. This would be bad enough, but the film inadvertently underlines this flaw with a running gag in which other characters comment that they should get a room because the sexual tension between them is off the charts. Based on the available evidence, this may be true, but, unfortunately, it is off the charts in the wrong direction—there was more palpable heat between the two of them in “Knives Out” than there is at any point here, and they weren’t even necessarily trying in that one.
“Ghosted” is a tedious exercise in sheer greed and laziness that presumes if enough money and famous faces are tossed into the mix, no one will notice, or at least mind, the utter vacuousness of the enterprise. By a bit of happenstance, I wound up seeing this film immediately after watching “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.” and was in an uncharacteristically good mood as a result of that genuinely wonderful movie. However, by the time “Ghosted” finally dragged itself across the finish line—complete with threatening future installments—that sense of good cheer and hopefulness regarding the possibilities of cinema had been completely eradicated. At least the aforementioned “The Gray Man” had the dignity to be completely forgettable—honestly, before I mentioned it, did you even recall that it existed? But I have a terrible feeling this one is going to stick in your mind for a long time after you see it, no matter how hard you may try to erase it.
On Apple TV+ now.